Kids Baseball Jokes: Funny One-liners and Puns

Baseball is fun and full of laughs - even when you strike out! Get your team giggling with these kid friendly baseball jokes and puns about the sport we love.

Funny Baseball Jokes

What's the best baseball joke to tell a crowd? A real hit and run!

Here are funny one-liners and quips about baseball:

  • What do you call a baseball player with a 4.0 batting average? A bookie.
  • What has four legs but can't walk? A baseball diamond!
  • What do you call a baseball player who needs glasses? An umpire!
  • What did the baseball glove say to the ball? "Catch you later!"
  • Why can't baseball players take vacations? They aren't allowed to leave their bases!

    Baseball Jokes About Positions

    Jokes for each position on the diamond:


    • How is a bad pitcher like a broken clock? They're both off every other pitch!
    • What did the pitcher say when his arm fell off? "I guess I won't be throwing any more curveballs."
    • Why was the pitcher in jail? Because he stole all the bases!


    • What do you call a catcher who is cross-eyed? An umpire!

    First Baseman

    • Why did the first baseman take ballet? He wanted to learn how to stretch!
    • What do you call a first baseman with a sheep on his head? Baa-rista!
    • Why does the first baseman hold rope? In case he needs to tether a runner.

    Second Baseman

    • What do you call a second baseman who lost his uniform? Streaker!
    • Why does the second baseman walk bow-legged? It helps him turn two.
    • What do you call a second baseman who skips practice? A Missing Link.

    Third Baseman

    • Why can't the third baseman stand beside his base? There's not mushroom!
    • What do you call a third baseman with no ball? Matt!
    • Why did the third baseman write fake news stories? He liked to spread groundless rumors.


    • How do shortstops stay cool? They sit by their fans in the infield!
    • What do you call a shortstop who throws to the wrong base? Outfielder!
    • How does the shortstop determine good luck from bad luck? With his lucky shortstop!


    • Why did the center fielder plant trees in the outfield? He wanted to catch some flies.
    • What do outfielders use to see fly balls? Their outfield eyes!
    • How do outfielders greet each other? "Hay, grass looking greener in left today."

    Umpire Baseball Jokes

    Why does the umpire need glasses? He's got four eyes and still can't see the strike zone!

    • What do you call an umpire who needs glasses? Blind!
    • What do you call an umpire behind home plate? Pest batter judge!
    • How do you keep an umpire in suspense? "I've got a great joke about baseball..."

    Little League Baseball Jokes

    Why did the T-ball player slide into first base? He thought it was a Slip 'N Slide!

    • What did the batter say when he was hit by the pitch? Mom, I got you flowers!
    • Why does the T-ball player bring string to the game? In case his bat comes unraveled!
    • How is little league baseball like peas? It has lots of little hits!

    Softball Jokes

    What's the difference between a baseball team and a softball team? The baseball team wears pants!

    • Where do slow pitch softball players put their uniforms? In the washer - they play it clean!
    • What did one softball say to the other? Let's get the ball rolling!
    • How do you pitch a softball with accuracy? Just lob it and hope!

    Coach Baseball Jokes

    What did the coach say when the team bunted too much? Stop being so sacrifice-al!

    • Coach: "Who's our best pitcher?" Team: "Our picture!"
    • Coach: "Who dropped the ball out there?" Team: "Definitely gravity!"
    • Coach: "Who missed that pop fly?" Team: "The butterfingers fairy!"

    Keep your team laughing with these funny baseball jokes and puns. Laughter and smiles help make baseball memorable for kids. Now get out there, tell a joke, and PLAY BALL!